40+11 By: Bark

Vanity of vanities

Vanity of vanities, King Solomon writes, it’s all chasing after the wind. Doesn’t life feel like that sometimes? Like no matter what you do it’s all pointless? Like the hype you’ve been building up in your mind is really just a trivial matter that will ultimately prove ridiculous? Like silly frivolities are exactly that: silly and frivolous?

file0001685489042Let me explain, I recently realized that I have some vanity issues. As I gear up to do this seminar on Saturday it became quite apparent to me that I care far too much about this physical presentation. What’s funny, is that there’s not much about me that offers significant allure. So why I would be concerned with my hair is completely ridiculous.

Yet, I was.

I’m thankful for the friends that put up with me, that gently pointed out my vanity (perhaps unbeknownst to them). In truth, I am created in God’s image, so if He’s got bad hair I shouldn’t be concerned. Right? Ha! (Thankfully He’s got a sense of humor.)

I wonder what it would take for me to get more riled up about the fact that I don’t pray enough or spend enough time engulfed in the reading of His Word? Instead I’m teary eyed because my hair might not look right in front of a bunch of people I probably already know. The enemy’s ability to divert our attention to things of little import is quite incredible.

The ease in which my flesh worries about itself is so mind boggling. I am truly appalled at my own absurdity in the matter and yet, it’s still quite possible that I’ll be dying my hair before I see you all on Saturday. That is indeed a vanity of vanities as it is only a temporary fix to the reality of the fact that I sweet marieam old (or at least getting there).

I haven’t dyed my hair since I left my husband and if my sweet friend hadn’t told me that I looked “mature” with my new haircut I might have been able to stifle the urge. But now I’m stuck feeling fat and old, knowing I’ve got to get on stage in front of people (even if I already know them, I still have to GET ON STAGE in FRONT of them).

Of course, I am reminded of what God told me when He instructed me to write years ago, “It isn’t what it looks like, it’s what it says.” Maybe He meant that about me too. Maybe He means it about you when you get wrapped up in vanities.

So, I’ll just have to pray that people will hear Him speaking through me and not be distracted by my physical appearance. After all, if they don’t see Him while I stand there, it will certainly be chasing after the wind and I don’t like to run.

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