“It’s fantastic,” she said to me when I told her that someone just came into the shop and paid the rent for March in full.
“Yes, it’s fantastic,” I thought too, but what does it mean?
You see, that’s part of my problem. I see the awesomeness of God’s gift. I understand that it’s Him moving, but that analytical side of me jumps right in and tries to figure out the why’s and wherefores.
Sure, the shop’s rent is now covered and it’s not that I’m not thankful and grateful and amazed at God’s goodness, but I’m looking for the more. The- what’s He trying to tell me in this provision? What parts of the things I’m doing are pleasing enough to make Him want to support the shop for a little while longer ?
Maybe I’m not supposed to think like that. But I want to know what I’m doing right so I can do more of it, and what parts of everything else are pointless, so I can stop investing effort in them. Is that so wrong?
Sure, I understand full well that God works in mysterious ways and that His ways are not our ways. Yet, I’m still left wondering what sections of my actions, efforts & ideas are pleasing to Him.
Then in the far corner of my mind, it seems I hear that still small voice telling me that everything about me is pleasing to Him. Not because I do everything right, but because I’m His and that makes Him happy. He knows that I am desperately seeking after His heart, that my desires are to please Him and though I may fail, may get things wrong, it’s the chasing after Him that pleases Him.
Think about how many times your kids have screwed up, but the fact that they were trying to make you happy makes the screw ups ok. Zeke, my youngest, crawls in bed with me in the mornings and cups my face in his hands. “Beautiful Mommy,” he says to me, and though I know how far from beautiful I am, he thinks I’m something altogether better than that because I’m his.
God’s view of who we are has been skewed to the positive because Jesus bled for us. All God sees when He looks at us is the beauty, the purity, the kindness, the love, of His son. And that is One in Whom He is well pleased.
So are you.
Don’t let the enemy deter your pursuit of pleasing, and delighting in God. There’s nothing in life worth more of your effort than that.