It’s been too dry might seem slightly facetious given the insane and almost constant rainy weather we’ve been enduring here in Florida. But, I’m not talking about literal rain. Nor am I even going to mention my swamp of a yard. Rather, I’m referring to the dryness in my soul, the parch going on in my spirit. I have been failing to drink from the Fountain. I wonder, have you been doing the same thing?
I was driving in my car thinking about the fact that I want to have the old hunger I had for Him and I was asking Him to bring it back to me. I know, full well, that I have chosen this desert place. I have done it by investing too much time in everything but Him. I have done it by choosing to embrace old habits that had long ago been put to death. So, though I was asking Him to bring back my thirst and hunger the real truth was, I have to do it myself.
Interestingly enough, Charles Stanley was preaching about the topic on the radio and I decided I would do my best to be in the car in time to hear him. I think I only made it in time for one. I found myself extraordinarily exhausted this week even though I went to bed earlier than usual and took a nap before church on Wednesday night.
Amazing how the enemy helps in our failures to return. I’ve no doubt he had a hand in the overwhelming inability to keep my eyes open. So, I decided to start bringing a little New Testament to work.
I’ve now spent two days during my planning periods and lunch taking some time out to read the Word. And, I am happy to report that I finished the book of Matthew (again) this afternoon. I will start in Mark tomorrow. Am I feeling that hunger again? Not quite. Am I thirsting after the Word? Not like I want to be. But, I am making a conscious effort to delve back into His Fountain.
I realized that my zeal for His truth is usually impacted by a need to teach it, or write about it. Since I have been doing neither of these things it is no wonder that I’ve found myself growing cold. And, with this new job I am inundated with all kinds of worldly things that I have been far removed from for many years. I feel these things trying to creep in and I don’t want them there. But, a soldier without armor can never win a battle (unless of course you’re David, and I assure you, I’m not).
I need His Word and though I haven’t given up my almost daily devotional reading, I will admit that most days I can’t remember a thing I’ve read that morning. Thankfully, when I started praying about wanting to desire Him more I found myself waking up to the song, “Hills and Valleys.” At first I wasn’t really sure why that was the song that came to me, but then I realized it was the refrain, “I am not alone.”
How many times do we find ourselves in dark, dry places thinking we are there all by ourselves? Sitting in women’s group on Wednesday night there were several other women who admitted being in the desert. Longing to want more of Him but feeling like they just couldn’t get there. It would appear that this is a common emotion at this moment. So, recall that He is the God of the Hills and Valleys and you are not alone. Sometimes, to get out of the desert, all you have to do is take the first drink. He’s waiting to offer you a sip.
Feature Image by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash